How to Deal With Your Stuff So Your Kids Don’t Have To, with Eli Harwood

adhd autism differences expectations intergenerational patterns neurodivergence therapy triggers Apr 16, 2026

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re getting into something that doesn’t get talked about enough in parenting: What happens when our stuff shows up in how we raise our kids.

In this episode, I’m joined by Eli Harwood, and honestly, this one felt like part conversation, part therapy session. We’re talking about what it looks like when your child is wired differently than you… and how easy it is to project your own fears, needs, and past experiences onto them without even realizing it.

We get into mismatch, anxiety, and those moments where you find yourself thinking, “They need this,” when really… it’s something you needed.

Eli breaks down what it actually means to be a secure base for your kids. Not perfect, but steady. Being able to hold their emotions without needing to fix them. And how the real work of parenting is learning how to tolerate our own feelings so we don’t hand them off to our children.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I messing them up?” or felt that pull between wanting to protect your child and needing to let them be who they are… this episode is for you.

Alright folks, let’s dive in.

Connect with Eli:

Instagram:⁠ @attachmentnerd⁠

Website: ⁠https://www.attachmentnerd.com/⁠

Order the book:⁠ How to Deal with Your ____ So Your Kids Don't Have to: An Encyclopedia for Ditching Your Emotional Baggage⁠

Podcast:⁠ How to Deal⁠

Secure Parent Program: ⁠Here⁠

Connect with us:

Instagram and TikTok: ⁠@seed.and.sew ⁠

Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: ⁠Take the Quiz⁠

Order ⁠Big Kids, Bigger Feelings⁠ now!

Website: ⁠seedandsew.org⁠